Calamari and the Halloween Adventure
by Crysania
Summary: Someone asked me to write a Halloween Calamari fic set in the EF. So here it is. Belle wants to go trick or treating. Things don't exactly go to plan.


She's not quite sure what his reaction will be.

Well, that's not quite true. She expects a sneer, a roll of the eye, a _there's laundry to be done, dearie, toddle of now why don't you?_

But _oh_ , it's almost that time of year. Maybe her second favorite, besides Yuletide. And when she's in town to gather straw and provisions everyone is talking about it.

 _All Hallow's Eve_.

The tradition in her home town has always been to go door to door, receiving blessings and small treats, sometimes performing silly tricks for your rewards. Few requested them these days, instead preferring to just hand out sweets. She remembers it being much more fun when she was young, but that doesn't stop her from wanting to do it again.

All Hallow's Eve was a beautiful and fun tradition in her village. Rumplestiltskin has been so lenient and almost… _friendly_ …that she hopes she might convince him to allow her.

"No," he says when she asks him. He doesn't even look up at her, one hand coming up to gracefully flick at her, as if she were nothing more than a bug. She waits for his dismissal, but when none comes she takes a step closer. This is a game she knows all too well.

"It's good for…"

"No," he says again, cutting her off. She rolls her eyes.

"But…"

He heaves a sigh and she stops talking. "I hate All Hallow's Eve," he mutters. She waits. He'll go on if she doesn't speak up. She's sure that sometimes he just likes to hear the sound of his own voice. "All those…ridiculous outfits and candy and _cheer_." The last is said on a sneer as he finally looks up at her.

She leans a little closer.

He leans back, though his eyes flick down for just one moment before meeting hers. "I…" he starts to say. He offers another sneer and his eyes flick to the side. "Fine. You can go."

She lets out a squeal.

" _You_ can go," he reiterates. "I'm not joining you."

"But…"

"No buts, dearie." He waggles a finger at her and she sighs. "Take Stan."

"What? No…" The words are barely out before Rumplestiltskin lets out a giggle and stands.

"Yes, yes. It's perfect. You want to go. You take Stan."

"But…"

"What, second thoughts?" She isn't sure if there's humor behind the words or just a bit of mockery. She lets out a huff and he giggles. "Enjoy your evening, dearie!"

She crosses her arms over her chest and glares at him for a moment.

But then shrugs.

"Well, Stan does attract a lot of attention," she murmurs. "Perhaps some young gallant will come out to protect me from anyone who means me harm." She doesn't give him a chance to respond, just turns and flits out of the room.

* * *

"I don't understand!" Stan is shouting, tentacles waving wildly.

Belle is holding up a sheet. Well, really, several sheets. She's sewed them together, cut out a couple of holes for his eyes. It still won't fit perfectly but if he's going to go with her, then this is all she has.

"It's All Hallow's Eve," she states. Again. "We dress up and we go door to door and we get _chocolate_." She loves chocolate. Everyone knows this. White chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate. As long as it's chocolate, she'll eat it. It's her one weakness.

Well…one of her weaknesses at any rate.

"I don't like chocolate!" Stan shouts.

Belle shakes her head. "Everyone likes chocolate."

"Not me!" One of Stan's tentacles almost wipes her out but by now she's gotten used to the ridiculous creature's frantic waving. She easily steps over the one that comes at her.

"Fine. Then you don't have to have chocolate. But you're still coming with me." She tries to toss the sheet over him again and he flails, tossing it over her head as she ducks to miss it.

When she turns the sheet is not laying on the ground as she suspects. Instead, it's draped over some sort of man-shaped object. For a moment all is silent. Even Stan seems subdued.

Belle cringes as Rumplestiltskin struggles to push the gigantic sheet off himself, arms moving awkwardly beneath it for a moment before the sheet disappears in a puff of smoke. It reappears on Stan and his squeal of, well, fright maybe?...is horrifying to listen to.

"I can't see!" Stan shouts mournfully. "The world has gone dark! I feel it closing in around me! Death is near!"

"Oh for the love of…" Rumplestiltskin waves his hand and the sheet settles properly onto Stan, his gigantic eyes showing through the holes..

"I can see!" Stan shouts, his great big booming voice sounding oddly muffled beneath the sheet.

"Great," Belle manages to get out. She's not sure if she wants to laugh or cry over the insanity of it all. "Can we go now?" She turns toward the door and can feel Stan start to trail after her, the slight breeze from the sheet moving around her.

"Is that what you're going to wear?" comes Rumplestiltskin's voice from somewhere behind her.

She stops.

Grinds her teeth together.

He won't go. He doesn't care. He'll drive her crazy if she doesn't answer.

She turns back to him and smiles, overly sweet. She wields the feather duster she's holding like a sword. "Well, yes. I thought going as a maid was the obvious choice." It wasn't like she had other outfits. A few blue maid's outfits and that old golden dress that she had arrived in.

"It's not a costume," he points out.

"Sometimes it feels like it is."

His brow furrows. "But you _are_ a maid…"

"Who spends more time reading and trying to stop a gigantic octopus from throwing things at you…"

"But still, _a maid_." He crosses his arms over his chest.

She rolls her eyes. "And so what would _you_ have me go as?"

He titters as his hands draw together. "I thought you'd never ask." She's engulfed in smoke and for a moment she can see nothing, though Rumplestiltskin's giggle comes through loud and clear. Then it clears and she glances down at herself.

The skirt has shortened, changed color, her legs are encased in some sort of tights, heels higher and spikier. The corset is tighter and she feels pinched in. It's not comfortable but it's not totally _un_ comfortable either. The sleeves are long, black, the corset purple with black binding. The neck is high, brushing against her ears before curling outward. Her hair is off her shoulders and she can feel it's done in some elaborate updo.

"An evil sorceress?" She almost laughs, it's so ridiculous.

"Of course," he says with a dramatic gesture of his hand. "Shall we go?"

"We?"

"Obviously," he responds with, shaking his head and wrinkling his nose at her. He holds out an arm to her.

She hesitates, looking him up and down. "And what exactly are _you_ going to be?"

"I'm the Dark One, of course."

"Yes you are…"

"I don't need a costume to scare anyone, dearie. Now come along or you won't get a bit of candy." He holds out his arm again and she finally takes it. A moment later, they disappear.

* * *

Rumplestiltskin stays hidden at the first house, hanging back around the corner, and she's sure that means it will all go well.

She knocks on the door and the woman who answers is elderly. But she smiles upon seeing her. She barely gives Stan a glance, though he's somewhere behind her, one tentacle wrapped around the rather large bucket she's given him to hold on to.

"Trick or treat!" Belle announces and the woman cackles… _cackles_.

"Aren't you a lovely one, dear?" Her voice reminds her of dust and old leather.

Belle offers a curtsey and the woman drops a lovely piece of chocolate into her bag. It's wrapped lovingly and obviously she's spent hours working on her creations. She's just about to offer the elderly woman a thank you when she hears a slight commotion over to her side.

"Boo," Rumplestiltskin says.

The woman's scream is perhaps the loudest thing she's ever seen. Stan joins in, his booming shout carrying probably far further than she'd like. Then the woman is sinking to the ground and Belle is trying to catch her and Rumplestiltskin is standing over them both as she kneels, allowing the woman to rest on the ground in her doorway.

"Well, I guess some people just can't handle the frightening nature of the holiday."

Belle turns to glare at him. "Is she dead?" He offers nothing more than shrug. Belle stands and turns toward him, narrows her eyes. " _Rumplestiltskin_."

"She's not dead," he says with a sigh.

* * *

The second house isn't much better than the first. She makes Rumplestiltskin promise to stay away and he does.

She really shouldn't trust him.

She's having a lovely discussion with the couple who answer the door about the town's traditions. "You're new here my dear? We haven't seen you before."

They're really very nice people. But she can see the way their eyes stray to the monstrosity behind her. Finally their curiosity gets the better of them. "And just what are _you_ dear?" she asks and Belle has to hold her breath.

"I'm Stan!" he shouts, tentacles flying. She leaps over the one that comes close to taking her out. It's almost as natural as breathing.

Belle leans back toward him. "You're a ghost," she whispers.

"I'm a ghost!" Stan shouts, tentacles flying out about him. He moves forward and one hits the woman at the door, sending her careening into her husband and the next thing she knows they're both on the ground, half covered in goo.

"Get out of here you crazy thing!" the man is shouting as he gets back to his feet.

"I'm Stan!" Stan shouts again.

"Ghost," Belle shouts back.

"I'm a ghost!"

"Get o…" One of Stan's tentacles takes the man out on more time and he goes down in a gurgle of goo.

Belle sighs and then rushes forward, waving at Stan. She leaps over a tentacle, manages to grab him by the sheet and tug him away from the house.

"And I didn't even do anything this time," Rumplestiltskin points out, one finger pointing at them. Belle just rolls her eyes and heads to the next house.

* * *

The rest of the evening doesn't go much better. At one house, Rumplestiltskin hangs down from above like a gigantic bat. The woman at the door faints.

There's the one where Rumplestiltskin has to rescue them when the man turned a gun on Stan. It seems he didn't take kindly to ridiculously oversized sea creatures hitting him in the face with a tentacle.

And then there was the one where it all went wrong. The door was answered by a young man. Handsome, Belle thinks. But handsome like Gaston, not handsome like Rumplestiltskin. There's a dull look to his eyes.

"Well, hello there," he says, leaning against the door frame. Belle rolls her eyes.

"Trick or treat," she says and if her voice is just a little too bright she doesn't suppose he'll ever notice.

"Trick," the man responds with and adds a laugh.

It sends a shiver up her spine and certainly _not_ the good kind. "Yes, well…"

"Come on little lady. Dressed like that. I know you're willing to offer me a… _trick_."

She backs up, glances off to the side. She knows Rumplestiltskin is there somewhere. Hidden behind a tree or invisible. But he doesn't show herself. "Rumplestiltskin!" she calls out as the man takes a step toward her.

"Oh that's a good one," the man says and laughs again. He leans a little closer to her.

"You can't have sex with her!" Stan suddenly shouts and flies forward. One of his tentacles wraps around the man and pulls him closer.

"What the…" the man tries to get out, eyes wide.

"You can't have sex with her!" And Stan's eyes are wide behind the sheet. He's utterly terrifying if she wants to be completely frank. "She can only have sex with Rumplestiltskin!"

The man looks like he's going to vomit. "You were serious?" he asks.

"Hello, dearie," Rumplestiltskin says from just behind her shoulder, offering a small wave.

"Oh God I'm going to be sick." As he starts to hunch over, Belle sees the people starting to rush toward them.

"Rumple…" she starts to say but it's too late. He's waving his hand and the man is suddenly gone.

Well…not gone. There's a snail left where the man was before and Rumplestiltskin is stepping forward. "Rumple…no!" she shouts.

"Dark One, spare him!" comes a voice from the crowd that's growing somewhere behind her.

"He's a snail!" Stan shouts.

"Rumplestiltskin, just get us out of here."

She watches as he lifts his booted foot up and then finally heaves a sigh. A moment later they're back in the Dark Castle.

* * *

"Well, that was a bust," Belle mutters. She has three pieces of chocolate, two of which are completely flattened from their mad escape from at least a few of the houses.

"I don't like chocolate!" Stan shouts. Belle leans over and grabs his bucket. Only four more pieces in there. At least they're not flat. That's something. She supposes she has seven more piece of chocolate than she had earlier in the day and flat chocolate is _still_ chocolate.

"Well, that was fun." She looks up as Rumplestiltskin enters the room. He's holding a bag and eating something out of it. It takes Belle a moment to realize what she's seeing.

"Where did you get all of that from?" She's on her feet and moving toward him before she can even stop herself.

He waggles a finger at her. "While you were being all 'concerned citizen' and trying to save everyone, _I_ was making out like a…what's the phrase again?" He leans in close to her. "Ah yes…like a bandit. A _chocolate_ bandit," he adds while tossing another piece of chocolate in his mouth.

" _Rumplestiltskin_." There's a warning in her voice.

"You'll just have to get your own…"

" _Rumplestiltskin_."

"Fine," he says, tossing her one of the chocolates. "But you'll have to earn the rest." He disappears then and she's left with the echo of his giggle and the feeling that she had somehow been bested…again.

"At least you didn't have to have sex with that man!" Stan shouts.

Belle just shakes her head. "Yes, I suppose there _is_ that."


End file.
